Monday, June 3, 2013

The Idled-slow sideshow

a year in the making,
a whole lifetime of aching,
No end in sight
No end to this insight

It always starts with the fingers falling apart
with yesterday's phone parts
falling apart as if I got made out of spare parts
someone else's livers and hearts
what exactly am I made out of?
I thought I was a new person
just hold
but I'm just old
parts of older people
make my living selling top-shelf, self-help books from my own self hell
for what
Just another one of the left out overnight kids
one of those containers without lids
useless to the masses
unless you got scars on your asses
Or pass a few of their rape based classes

I am dying.
Not like a flower or a metaphor.
For sure.
This my bones tell me in the evenings
where the sun is dim and fading.
Believe I did, in this impending train coming full of fury around the bends in my vision. Snucked and sneaked till my soul squeaked slow it down
Needing something sad to dance to
Had it all
Lost it all.
And there's more to be forfeited
in futures lost to addicted
forests of misery
beckons to me beautiful
women kill me or kiss me
but will they miss me?
Some do
and some regret not
forgetting enough. 

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